random update and notice (post from WordPress.com)

(list

1. was away for a bit and etc

2. new things added to blog

3. ???)

 

1. back and sorry i was away from twitter for a while, my parents had me doing all sort of stuff more then normal >.>” every few seconds i would get called if i was a maid or something, and it got very annoying because it took away most of my time and couldn’t get online without being called or annoyed by my parents.

my parents have stop bugging me for now.. >.> so i will be on twitter around 9:30 pm i believe.

also been studying for my tests that are next month, she made me worry..anyway we’re moving again in the summer ^^

2. i have added some new things to my blog/site and updating a few things like the blog’s theme, i will get a new one soon and added more tabs/pages

3. random things umm, i beaten skyrim but i’am one of many who beaten this game and i will go try a level up bug on a new account ^^  but skyrim is freezing up a lot..

just out of boredom >.> <.<

also, i’am feeling bored so what account should i bring back?

my old OOC account or my old mlp rp acc  @mlp_sonik but both accounts may be gone if 30 days has passed..but this could be a way to start fresh in mlp rp. hmm as for the OOC account, i may make a new one

and i really need to make time for anime, making videos, and such but that may not happen for a while..lol

 

so not much to say here, now is there?

see you guys in a hour or two

my Final Update/notice till ???? (post from wordpress.com)

(read before you comment)

(1. week one of insanity..

2. my final notice

3. my parting gift, should i leave.)

1. every time i try to get away from depressing things, they seem to find a way to get to me…before i joined twitter i was never like this.. i was care free, happy, nothing could make me feel like shit like today.

you say, try to forget the bad memories or let go. it does work..but only to come back ten times worse. it’s like a mark, it will never go away, no matter how hard you try to get rid of it. it’s a never ending pain. it can never heal or go away, it only gets worse if you try to cure it.

my family has been at it again. fighting, hate, evil, lies runs in this house of “love” there is no trust. my family is just as fake as my brothers.. but nothing to do about that, but, this war and fighting just really opened me.

if i always seem depressed, gloomy and doomy. the answer is simple. i don’t have a true reason to be happy, i know if i be happy, someone will let me down~  happiness is just a word to me now. but my heart is full of darkness, hate, despair, depression. there is no room for happiness, joy, light.

it’s pointless but there will be a dim light, glowing faintly in the darkness but for how long will the light stay? how long will that light help, or is that glowing light a lie, leading me to a darker path..?

2. in my last post, i said the idea of me quitting has been floating around, but the idea has been by me, since that day. i know if i quit, then i will hurt someone or make ppls mad mainly.

but i done my work here, i don’t feel needed here anymore.

if i try to help, it will backfire on me, i want to care, but end up annoying ppls

i try to be kind, i will forget something and hurt someone.

it’s a no win-win problem that has no right answer or way out.

to able my self to avoid a dark and grim future, i must not talk to my friends..

talking to my friends or anyone at this year, only seems to make them mad or annoy them.

it’s a plan that could backfire and end up making me the most hated here.

but if i go on about my normal way of life. i will still get the same results.

but if i were to minus my self from the problem, this could in turn fix everything that needs to be fix.

but however, this is a path that has been made for me, this is something i knew it will come to pass sooner or later,

i wanted to find a less darker way to go about this, but this is simply not the case.

i can’t avoid it,  i can stall or hold it off or even face it but it will never go away.

but more to the point. on midnight, i’ll deactivate Drkinos. this way i won’t be a pest, a bother to you or be annoying or be able to make anyone else sad or mad anymore. this twit will be gone

i will have 30 days to think on this one. the last day to log back in to my account or lose it forever. if i do change my mind, like anyone is going to talk to me after this..

sorry for being like this, but i’am losing sight of the path…everything is slowly turning gray for me…

i don’t know why…but i guess the ppls who don’t like me will be happy. there will be one less problem.

i’am like a memory, it will fade, like ben, it will be forgotten, abandoned, drowned. if i have any ppls who hate me, if they see this post, they will be glad to see it and me go.

but if the sopa and pipa bill passes (i hope not) then i would have to leave any way due to the new laws

but when i’am on twitter, i feel i waste my time time there. it’s better if you forget about me ^^

3. now  should i quit twitter/facebook, i will leave a farewell picture here *nod* or not, i don’t really know , i will see what will happen

here 

and don’t quot-..eh, i don’t care at this point

i was like in a odd way the “song of healing” till the song got twisted into a dark and evil melody “song of unhealing”

but i will meet with a terrible fate soon, sorry, my friends…

#bye

random update (post from wordpress.com)

from now on, my posts will have a list to sort it out and make the post east to read..err well to find what you are looking for and ect

(list

1. deactivating two back up acc

2. staying off twitter for a bit

3. etc )

1. ok to start, i’am deactivating two twitter accounts since i don’t use them anymore. i have quit MLP rp for good. mlp_sonik has been deactivated and my OOC/RL acc lostsonik is also deactivated. i don’t have any use for them.

and with this on topic, the idea of me deactivating my main twitter account sounds easy and hard

easy as i could do it and maybe it will make some happy, a idea would may happen but it won’t.

hard as if i did delete my account i would be hated or shunned by my friends but then i would have no reason to stay, so i can’t have that..

2. staying off twitter till i can be more helpful and be less annoying and multitask with my friends and find out if i can be useful there…so this will take a while 30 days or 60 days or ??? days

half the time when i’am here i feel like a problem, which most of the time i’am.

i have bad luck to annoy ppls on and off or make mistakes..yes i know everyone makes mistakes..but i make them all the time and end up annoying ppls or making them mad or rarely making someone hate me.

3. mlp_sonik and lostsonik will be gone in 29 days and that’s it.. so don’t worry.. i will be away long enough where most of my annoying things i did will be forgotten.

p.s no quoting anything ~.~” bad enough i know i screw up, don’t need quotes to tell me why did i screw up or etc. plus with my brother driving me insane…hard to think right now.

well, time to go and what not, my last post for a bit is this.

no, i’am not quitting although the idea of me quitting is floating around, here and there and it is starting to seem like a great idea at this time…but i won’t quit… yet and if i do quit, i will tell my friends/bros/sis

this is something i really need to think about..

don’t quote me plz and don’t ask why. ok? ~.~” sorry, i’am sure by bad luck, this post has annoyed someone or hurt someone or made them mad or etc and no this post is not aimed at anyone.

so i will put a lol here in this post to make it less gloomy and doomy..

#end

*edit*

“you’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you…?”

cookie that spark has gone out, no point in trying to lie

the spark of “love” that i once had for you is long gone.

i rushed love, from the day i met you, i went to fast and didn’t slow down.

when i saw you, i didn’t want to find love but my mind was in the right place but my heart wasn’t…

and when you kissed me i should had ignored you or stopped you..

i did it to make you happy but i knew i would later in the end i would regret it.. i was right

we are the opposite, you want love and a family..and i don’t want love or to feel love but a family….. at the time

we all try to or want to find that one who can fill the void in your heart.

you want to find the one who can complete the other half of your self to make you feel whole.

you know in your heart, the one is out there, she or he will wait till the time comes.

love is such a fragile thing..all it can take to break it is just no love or trust.

love is not something that can be fix or repaired if broken, it takes time, it could heal or may never heal.

we all know when we rush to find love, it can and will end bad or poorly

one min you are in love and want to be with this person forever and later on,

it’s over in a flash and all you can do is feel pain.

love for a person can change  when all you do is wait for them, yes true you must wait for them,

but if they up and go without telling you or saying where they are going? for 3 – 2 weeks?

then you would get tried of waiting if you was in my spot.

so, i want you to go, and find someone else who can be the one for you, it’s not me, that’s for sure

i’am sorry, but i never thought i would be the one to say it, it’s not you, but it’s me.

we are too different but i’am too different, we have nothing in common.

i don’t want to be your lover anymore, but i want to be your friend.

if you hate me for wanting to be friends…so be it, if not good.

because we were better off as friends, but being lovers, not a good idea.

to me, this relationship feels dead, it has lost it’s /touch/, it is dull and depressing,

it feels more like work then love at this point.

it feels empty and i don’t feel anything anymore and something you can’t fix it.

wait, and wait, and wait….all i ever do but it must stop. but this you can’t fix this,

if you did somehow fix it, it would be pointless..

i know you are dealing with stuff, my /heart/ doesn’t feel the same anymore..

so that why it’s better to be friends then lovers

so, it’s with a heavy heart i have to say this,  i’am sorry, but it’s over…

you will find someone better, just not me though..

————————–

but answer me this. how or why would i want to be with you when every time i  mess up or screw up,

you tear me down for no fucking reason or yell at me and cuss me out.

what the hell was or is your deal?

as a Taurus i will not put up with a friend/best friend/anyone who yells at me, make me feel like shit.

treat me like crap, ask me to do every single thing and returns nothing.

i have tried to be calm and nice but you are acting like a jerk now.

the “baby/foal” account is dead, no one has or will use it.

us being friends is simply a bad idea,

we both dislike or hate each other

we have nothing in common except for hating each other.

and what do you want, damn it?!?

move on and leave me alone, and if you did move on, then stop talking to me

when i was with you,

made me feel like hell

no..made my life a living hell, and most ppls avoided me because of you

i wasted my time trying to tell the ppls who you made feel like crap,

that you were not bad,

matter of fact, all i been doing when we were together was trying to make your name good.

but that was a waste of my and others time

the reason i did all that stuff was the fact i was blinded by fools love

cookie..our “love” if you can even call it that was based on nothing but lies

lies were the only thing keep it together but it was going to fall sooner or later

love can’t not stand on lies

love is where you feel something for that person

love is where you want to be with this person

love is where you want to be everything for him/her

and so forth

cookie we did not have none of that whatsoever

our love was and has been a house of lies, we don’t have anything in common

so how is it even love?

it’s not…

you were always on my case with everything

yelling at my friends and i couldn’t make new friends thanks to you…

in a sense, you pretty much ruined my life

while i be nice and let you walk over me like a fucking doormat

i was stupid, i gave my happiness away to you and what did i get?

i got a little happiness back with hell, screaming and you treating me like crap.

i have not once treated you badly and i have worry about you a lot and care for you

nor have i yelled at you…

but i guess that doesn’t apply for you to worry or care about me.

you only look out for number one a.k.a yourself

and….

YOU HAVE THE FUCKING NERVE TO ASK ME, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!

YOU ARE THE REASON. YOU ARE JUST A BAD MEMORY…

when you get a guy who will treat you like shit, then you will know how i feel when you treated me like crap

i have moved on, but i can’t ever forgive you for making my life a living hell…..

all i have done for you cookie was a fucking waste of time

you have never cared for what i done for you or tried to do,  cookie…

i have nothing more to say to you, because there is nothing left for you…

in otherwords… cookie you say i used you… it’s the other way around you used me,  i felt no love,  only a fake smile with yelling…

AND OH, if you did “love” before, you sure as hell didn’t show it

only lies came from you.. but whatever now…

DO US BOTH A FAVOR and JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, You have done enough damage already……AND THE “BABY/Foal account” has not been used so stop talking about it, and bringing it up

just saying how i feel…

update (post from WordPress.com)

well, i looked at twitter and it wasn’t burned down..yet XD seems like everything is in order.

ok before i start, a lot of problems and issues has pop up out of nowhere and i have no time for twitter, fb, msn, youtube or anything for that matter.

with so much HW and family problems and now with my family depending on me for help and ect, life is a bit harder to handle at the moment.

with all of this going on, i can’t get in any free time to work on my drawings, and with my family bugging me for every petty thing every few minutes,

which my brothers could do but they won’t, but i’am the maid/butler around here since they use their bells to call me…a lot.

now to homework, like i said before, it’s rather to much to deal with.

when i was on twitter i figured  it would be one of those days where things get busy for me and then wear off or go back to normal.

but EeNope, it has been hell so far. i been offline for 4 days, but no one has noticed so far. lol.

so in a nutshell, things or my “plan” has backfired on me, very bad *facehoof*

(a shocking thing when a plan blow up in your face or backfires)

i won’t be on this week or the next, i will be online on the 24th of xmas eve and 25th but i can’t say for the rest. cookie, jack, polka, i will try to get your pictures done

now for family problems, my family has been feeling very ill lately, so i have to take care of them, even though they get on my last nerve..i must help them.

cookie picture 15 % done

polka pic 10 – 5 % done

jack pic 4% done

(after i get these pictures done, i’ll take no more art requests from anyone unless i want to do it or you’re a good friend)

ok, that’s it for this post, see you guys and when i say that i will end up talking to 5 friends or 3 lol x3

very short update (post from wordpress.com)

new stuff to talk about while talking a break from twitter again

i’am sure some know this and don’t know this but i guess 75 % of ppls know this, “deactivate” or how ppls say now, “i’am leaving or quitting twitter” now in the old version of twitter, if you deactivate your account in the old twitter, then your account was gone nothing you could do at all except cry your eyes out or be mad, or beg twitter by email, or ect. back to the point. if someone does deactivate their account here is the image you get

 they have 30 days or 4 weeks. if they log back in within 30 days their account will not be deactivate so yeah. just wanted to put this out there when ppls say they are going to “quit” twitter x3

(no, i’am not quitting twitter, i know some ppls could see this and get a wrong idea >_> plus if i were to quit twitter something bad or very depressing must happen in order for me to quit)

saw a rainbow moon and it was cool and odd. the light around the moon was a rainbow, was rather neat ^^

update on dark fan fic, two pictures for jack and polka..>…> and working on a idea for a android app using flash cs5.5 and more

1. my idea for my fan fic has hit a wall of fail, i have a writer’s block, and i guess it’s time to get a team. the first fan fic was good and by luck lol ^^ i had no really good ideas since then.

2. i’ll get my pics done for jack and polka since they can’t wait…..>_>”’

3. i have a idea to make a flash app for android, it will be cool and free =3

4. while on my twitter break, i will be on youtube,  aqw, tumblr, so if you look at my bio on twitter, i will be back on xmas eve, i’am sure things will be fine, it’s not like things can go to hell if someone leave/ go on a break….>.> right….? and working on my new let’s play, “sonic 4″ this friday

5. that’s it and if you see any new tweets, that’s not me, i may come back before xmas eve or not, lol